The more you have, the more you have.

As a person who became a parent at 17, I quickly found out what it was like to struggle, to go without, and to enjoy luxuries. At the time I had a large village surrounding me, friends, family, and mostly mothers of my "old" friends. It seemed everyone wanted to help us. Then it was just me and my daughter, trying to figure it out. People offered us clothes, kitchen supplies, even furniture! I was so thankful. The array of (bad) decisions that led me to being pregnant teenager was going to stop. I wanted to give my chubby innocent baby a better life, and I was grateful for any and all help. This role seemed to continue, it didn't seem to matter that I was doing better, and even tho my little journey started about fourteen years ago, everyone still seen a little girl and her babies and wanted to help. Cleaning out the pantry? Give what you don't want or need to Mrs W.. Going threw your clothes? Pass them off to her. See a great sale on anything? Pass those savings on! And while I understand the beautiful sentiment that comes along with this, and am truly thankful, I can no longer hold on to all of these items.

Fourteen years later my hardworking husband and I both have jobs, his is really good. These two babies of mine regularly remind me they are NOT babies anymore, and proof is when I now have to look up to them. Fourteen years later I sit in my beautiful home, that we own, and its full of things that I have had for what seems to be forever, that truly beautiful human beings have given us over the years to make our life better. For this, I am grateful.

It seems to be like a slap in the face to get rid of anything that someone has given to us so kindly. I come from a modest family, my grandparents were migrant farmers. My dad, whom is well into his 60s, still works 60 hours a week doing manual labor. How could I just get rid of something that these beautiful people worked so hard to obtain? Does it make me a spoiled brat? Am I a disgrace to my family for getting rid of this stuff? And what is stuff? What is important? Is my grandma happy that I have her old dishes...even tho they are in a box, in my closet, and haven't seen them in years? I need to figure these things out.

I don't know where I am going, but after a very intense year of family medical problems, job changes/promotions, I do know that I am going. I know that the bigger the house the longer it takes to clean. I know the bigger the house the more it takes to heat. The nicer car you just bought with your tax check means you may not be able to afford the plates yearly. I know that the more you have, the more you have. Seems simple, right? I thought so, think so? The idea has been floating around in my for months now. The more you have, the more you have; The more you have to take care of; The more you spend; The more time it takes to care for the more; the more room you need for the more. So there it is, the more you have, the more you have, the less you have for what you want.

Do the best you can with what you have until you know better.

Know better, do better.

#lettinggo #minimlist #hording